Celebrations

I had a birthday party yesterday. I threw it for myself.

No, it wasn't a notable number. There wasn't anything unusual going on. It was just another birthday. But it was a party.

I cook for my own parties, generally. If people ask, "What can I bring?" then the first few might be asked to bring something, or if they offer to bring something specific ("How about if I bring shrimp for an appetizer?") then I will gladly accept. In this way it becomes a glorious tasty spread, generally with a little something for everyone.

I am a gourmand, with a smattering of pseudo-gourmet thrown in. I grew up watching cooking shows, and am not afraid to try new things. What I find terribly entertaining when I throw a party is that, if I try something fancy for the dinner, people enjoy it, but the true raves come when I do something simple. Yesterday's party fare was barbecue chicken and cole slaw, and friends brought a caprese salad (of homegrown tomatoes and basil), fresh fruit, ice cream, and rolls. It was wonderful and tasty, and preparation was not nearly as complex as it might have been.

This all ties in together, birthdays and parties and good food. I think people worry too much sometimes. They worry about aging. They worry about not looking as good as they used to. They worry about getting fat. And there is a little something on that last one. But let's, instead, worry about other things. Let's worry less about the outer trappings and more about the overall health. I do not use artificial sweeteners, and I avoid low fat or diet foods unless they are low fat like a skim milk, where the fat was removed but nothing was added. I avoid chemical and man-made things. I read labels hunting for foods without too much added sugar or sodium or high fructose corn syrup. It can be a challenge some days. But I think, overall, the food is better. I think that you can eat the foods prepared in a traditional fashion — with all the fats etc. — in moderation and be fine. It's when you eat sixteen portions of something, or eat it every day in the modern world where we don't have the activity level we once did, that trouble begins.

And so, that said, let's celebrate! Celebrate getting another year older because it means you've survived all life's slings and arrows! Celebrate the good things to eat because it means that you have the wherewithall to afford food! Celebrate a beautiful day because it means you are in a position to go out and enjoy it!

If there were more celebrations, the world would truly be a happier place.

What's your Albatross?

In The Rime of the Ancient Mariner by Samuel Taylor Coleridge, the title character, through circumstances completely of his own making, gets an albatross hung around his neck. A dead albatross, even better.

An albatross is a large sea bird. It looks somewhat like a seagull, but its wingspan is roughly 11 feet, and it weighs around 18 pounds. Historically, an albatross following the ship was considered good luck by mariners, and in the poem, the ancient mariner shoots the one following his ship, thus bringing a curse down upon his entire ship. His crew mates hang the albatross around his neck as punishment for his misdeed.

The albatross has come to be a metaphor for penance or punishment served. I like to take it further, and to have it be penance or punishment brought on by our own actions. We've all got one. Or rather, I know very few people who do not, although I know a LOT of folks who would never admit it in a million years. Something we have done, or gotten ourselves into, that has become a heavy dead weight we can't shake. It might be debt, or a friend's problems, or a relationship, or a job. It could be any one of a hundred things, whether large or small in reality, but for the person carrying it, it's huge.

So, I ask you: what's YOUR albatross? And what are you going to do about it?

Ode to Independence

When you think about it, that's really what the Fourth of July holiday is in the United States. We celebrate this day in all kinds of ways: cook outs, buffets, champagne, games, fireworks, races, parades, concerts. Kids (of all ages) around the country light sparklers, and American Flags materialize out of nowhere to mark the birth of an idea. For some, it starts a day early or runs a day long, and for many, it's a day of rest, with workplaces closed, and a day to spend with family and friends.

But what's frightening to me is that most people don't quite realize what was said in that document that we celebrate. The Declaration of Independence was just the beginning of a real revolution, one that was completed by The Constitution of the United States of America and its first ten amendments, The Bill of Rights.

How many people today see the self-evidence of the simple truths set out in that Declaration? That "ALL MEN are created equal"? That "Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed"? How many people today have read these documents, and attempted to understand them, rather than relying on the analysis of "experts" or the media to tell them what it says?

I challenge you, this weekend, to read these foundation documents of the United States of America, in honor and celebration of that great sacrifice made by those who have come before.

Don't just eat a hamburger and wave a sparkler. Be a Revolutionary. Know what this country is all about, and stand up for it.

Looking for a quick fix

How do you make it all better? Better yet, how do you do it fast with a minimum of effort?

This is the question everyone asks at some time, about almost anything. The leaking faucet. The hole the dog dug in the front yard. The burned out light bulb. The kid with the problem (whether it be math, vision, emotional, any problem may be inserted).

Even I, the Neighborhood Eccentric, ask that question about things.

The problem is, most things that can be fixed fast with little effort aren't really fixed. These are temporary patches that deal with something but not with the REAL problem. We tend to throw pills at things and make them numb rather than fix what's broken, and we often try to fix things that AREN'T broken because that can't possibly be right.

So, dear reader, here's your challenge: rather than applying a patch to something, FIX IT. We have all gotten so used to buying things for cheap that aren't worth repairing that we do it with our own lives too.

I'm taking up the challenge. Are you up for it?

Contracts, Verbal and Written

As a responsible dog owner, I feel that training is critical, regardless of the dog breed. It becomes even more critical when you have a dog like mine, who is a high-energy large breed with additional issues. I started with a training program locally, but his issues were bigger than both me and the trainers. Distraught, I reached out to someone I trusted and respected, a top-notch dog trainer who is well-known internationally. He agreed to work with me via phone and internet, explained what his hourly rate was, and we began.

What was not made clear to me during a rather hysterical phone conversation I had with him was that the entire fee would be charged up front. I was charged what turned out to be about 17% of my salary in advance. What was FURTHER not made clear to me was that if I chose to cancel the contract, I had to do so within 72 hours.

He is a wonderful dog trainer and a great person, and I still love him dearly and respect him and his methods. However, I am not a wonderful dog trainer (people tell me I'm a great person though I don't always believe them), and so in January (some 4 months after the telephone conversation that kicked off this relationship), I sent an e-mail indicating that I needed more help than could be provided long-distance (i.e., I need someone here to hold the leash in some cases), listing what I thought was a reasonable detail of what had been used, and asking for a refund of about half of what had been paid out.

Today, I find out (via my credit card company, with whom I filed two disputes on this matter) that I had signed a verbal contract, and that within that contract was the clause stating that contracts must be canceled within three days or no monies would be refunded.

My lesson for you in this case, dear reader, is this: ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS make sure you read a printed copy of any contract you sign, if possible before you sign it. Remember, a verbal contract is every bit as binding as a written one, and I did indeed sign a verbal contract over the phone last August. I do not recall receiving a printed copy of this contract, but I need to double check my papers and confirm that. Had I done so, I would not have wasted the past five months trying to get a refund. This is the one time in my life I have not obsessively read every clause in a contract before signing, and true to form, it is the one time I regret not having done so.

Caveat emptor, dear reader! Caveat emptor!

I sometimes wonder

Ever notice that people love to complain? They seem to complain about everything. And will complain to anyone who happens to be there, even if the complaint has nothing to do with that individual.

Yes, I guess I'm complaining about people complaining. Original, huh?

Sure, I agree, sometimes it's good to vent. Sometimes a complaint is warranted. But sometimes those complaints are way overboard, or directed at people who can not help you and really don't deserve the abuse dished their way. People are very quick to point out the negative, but rarely do they bring up the positive. There are all kinds of anecdotes and studies on how being positive is better for you than being negative. My Da swore by it. You have things that talk about that mystical power of positive thinking, such as this article. Then you have all kinds of information that indicates how positive attitudes can lower stress levels, something that we all could use in these difficult times. And there's even real medical evidence about the long-term health benefits.

And yet, somehow, people seem to find it easier to be negative. They complain about nothing and everything, and grumble and never smile and wonder why they have wrinkles and people aren't friendly towards them.

Here's my challenge to you for today:

FIND SOMETHING TO SING PRAISES ABOUT!! Now, you don't have to necessarily LITERALLY sing (some people might complain if you do, and that's sort of counter to my point), but say something happy. Say something positive. Say something bright. See if you can get smiles from the people around you.